Tattoo Simplicity: spiderman

Wall-climbing, web-slinging kiddies’ Spiderman symptoms attributed to outbreak of genetically modified mutant spiders.

A recent outbreak of genetically modified mutant spiders have made their way into homes across the world, infecting small children with super powers, spidey senses and the ability to shoot webbing, climb walls and look awesome in a Spiderman suit.

How do you know if your kid is a Spideyboy?

From a young age they will start wearing Spiderman suits. They will wear these daily, and get upset when mom tries to take it off them for a wash.

This baby Spidey is already exhibiting a tell-tale side effect of the spider venom, as his parent tries to remove the suit. See the fingers curling into a web-shooting pose? Although his web-spinning abilities have not fully formed, the Spidey sense is strong with this one and out of self-defense the little tyke attempts to wrap the offensive adult in a web-cocoon.

You will notice your baby Spiderkid climbing walls, furniture and even large kitchen appliances. These little red and blue menaces may be found hanging from ceiling fans or trees and perching on fence posts as their spidey sense warns them of incoming bad guy vibes.

As their powers grow, you may find them secretively practicing their skills, darting across the garden with super awesome Spiderman moves, while flicking their wrists in an attempt to shoot webbing. Keep domestic animals indoors during this phase.

As your Spider child gets older, he will try to guard his secret identity. You may find him practicing heroic staring into space poses while dramatically tearing off his outer clothing to reveal the Spidey within. Don’t worry. Your child is merely preparing himself for a life of photo shoots and adrenalin-filled movies. It's around this stage that you may also hear your spiderman novice singing show tunes from Spiderman: The Musical.

Even though your Spiderboy is learning to live with a secret identity, he will not have fully developed his disguising abilities yet and can be caught trying out his climbing skills while in undercover mode.

They may start designing their own Spiderman suits, in an attempt to be unique in a world of mini Spideys. This keen attention to detail and love for spandex is a side-effect of their Spidey sense.

It’s a different world now, with many up and coming Spideys. In an attempt to be the one sole Spiderman, your little Spidey may become quite competitive, testing his skills on other Spideyboys. These battles commonly occur between red and black Spideys, and betting on either side is considered bad form.

They will begin to pit their skills against mini baddies. This kid is about to initiate a battle with his little brother, whom he suspects is hiding a bad guy identity beneath his tiny sweater.

Although some parents may feel that this pandemic is a reason for alarm, in a future in which superheroes and supervillians abound, we can rest easy knowing that our friendly neighborhood Spiderboys will be watching over us civilians as we sleep. Possibly clinging to the wall or hanging from a ceiling fan.

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Top 10 Wicked Designs on Motorbike Helmets

Giving up the luxury of staying dry in a car for the economical convenience of a motorbike doesn’t mean you can’t get soggy in style.

With the rising cost of petroleum and gasoline, many people are turning to motorbikes as a fuel efficient locomotive during the current fuel crisis. Cars offer simple luxuries such as protection from the weather and adequate storage space. But if you’re going to get rained on, snowed on and hailed on, you might as well do it with a toothy grin (at least on your helmet).

Freaking out the neighborhood children is a top priority when choosing your biker gear. Why stop at a simple airbrushed skull design on your helmet when you can wear a leather suit reminiscent of an anorexic model?

Iron Man Crash Helmet

Although wearing full body armor made from iron is not an option on a motorcycle, you can still look as awesome as Marvel Comics' Iron Man. The helmet and visor have been airbrushed with shiny metallic paint to feed your glossy Iron Man obsession.

Spiderman Crash Helmets

Express your love for either the naughty or nice Spiderman with a black or red Spidey helmet. He climbs walls, spins webs and now wears a hardcore leather jacket and carries an organ donor card.

Venom Crash Helmet

Or, if you find yourself rooting for the baddies in every Spiderman movie, try the Venom helmet on for size. Although you may think it would be awkward to see past Venom’s sharp teeth, the visor has been airbrushed in such a way that peering out from the abyss of Venom’s mouth has never been easier.

Alien vs Predator Crash Helmet

If you’re a fan of the Alien vs Predator movies, ride a bike and wish Halloween was every day, this Predator airbrush design is the one for you. Complete with plenty of pointy fangs and a piercing glare, you’ll find you have the right of way on the roads more often than not.

Sweet Tooth the Clown Crash Helmet

Sweet Tooth the Clown from the video game, Twisted Metal, has given up his combat ice cream truck for all the jollies of riding a motorbike. However, creating Sweet Tooth’s flaming hairdo is left up to the biker.

Anaconda Crash Helmet

These helmets offer unlimited amusement for the wearer, as small children and elderly woman flee the scene in terror. Why bother with a gas guzzling car when you can enjoy the economical and endless entertainment provided by motorbikes and the gear that goes with them?